Isn't how a girl/guy treats you one of the most important things in a relationship?

i realize through my last relationship that how someone treats you is just about everything, I babied, spoiled, stayed up late, flattered, brought flowers, chocolate, spent hours of kisses and I love you's, tons of compliments, drove an hour and ten mins to be with her every chance I got, and for all that, I seemingly got affection when with her, but mostly cold indifference, and just things just made me think that it didn't matter to her, or that she even cared at times, I learned my lesson the hard way lol

and she never made time for me, and I always held the opinion that you can make time for the things you want to

Haha, that is kinda what my lover does xD But I return it ;)

well just as long as you are ok with that :-)

how do you mean that?

I'm saying if you got something that works for you that is the important thing :-)

I guess ur right ;-)

yeah ;-) I'm just saying if you see red flags early in your relationship and they don't get better, cut it off before u and hurt, or living with someone who don't treat u right

Know how that feels like xD Not gonna make that mistake again ;-)

Exactly, I'm gonna have a lot of trust issues after going through what I am dealing with now

ahww, trust issues suck... I know ;-) Wanna share? Also when i look at the other question u asked resently, it seems like ur going though a rough time...

well basically what I mentioned in the before comments, trying to let go, she's kinda my best friend, and now she's talking to other guys and its so rough on me

Tough one! No experience in such situation though... All I can do is give u a *big virtual hug* and vote on ur questions... ;-) Whish u the best of luck and tons of happyness!!

awe thanks ;-)

@Qwibes do you have any complaints with dating or anything in general?

@Drak attack I've been in your place before. ouch!

@Victory exactly, it is hell on earth, I guess it would bother me as much but she constantly tells me things, I believe her, then she changes it, and I'm like that called lieing, and she's like I didn't lie, I just changed my mind, and I'm like well I forgive and forget the first ten times in a row and then I start not believing you lol

@Drak attack When you talk with her it will be really difficult most likely, but try sticking to how things make you feel. Like say you feel really hurt by something. Let her know you feel hurt by something that happened (don't blame, just see how she responds to your actual feelings.) If she tries to argue with how you feel...let her know you are trying to open up to her and this is how you are feeling and you are putting it out there to start a discussion. Make sure to stick to a specific thing that made you feel a certain way, try not to say "you never, or you always do this..." keep going back to how the two of you should work together on resolving how you are feeling about the situation. Stick to looking for solutions together. It is really difficult and hurtful when someone doesn't validate your feelings so make sure to treat yourself right and look out for how you are feeling. If you don't feel validated and there doesn't seem to be a way to create a team effort towards finding a solution, then maybe consider if it is a healthy relationship for you. From what you have said it seems justified that you might feel hurt, angry and confused.

oh it cut me off oops ;)

@Drak attack some ppl just have a hard time admitting they lied :p or they first didn't notice they where actually lying and then are too stupid to admit it lol Complaints with dating or anything in general...? Do you have like an example? I don't really get it.. (Sorry, my bad ;p)

@Victory I think you are very true :-) Give her 'I' messages. Like, 'I didn't like it that you made me feel stupid.' Then she can't agrue with you, because its about YOUR experience, not hers ;-)

Very true to both of you, I think it's past helping, everything I try to discuss she don't participate or says she don't feel like talking or something else, she seems to lonely think of her, and qwibes I meant are you happily dating lol

haha, yeah, but its a crime he lives 1 hour away D: omg, its a 1.45 train trip for me lol For a lil while my parents stood in the way, cuz he's 10 years older O:) but they ve finally shut up now lol tomorrow he's coming for the weekend ;)

haha I had an hour an ten mins lol before that 2 hours or so lol

i once had one i had to be in the car for 3 hours! (Haha, i win :p ) XD was a lil younger then ;p

haha I'll let u have thAt trip lol I'd hate that lol

(N he wasn't even a good kisser) lol!

I was with a guy for a year and a half, then did about a year loong distance. I mean plane flight or 25 hour drive away. not fun! I win! wait, no I totally lose haha. We quickly figured out that if you do long distance you better have LOTS in common to talk on the phone. My friend had a 10 hour drive to see her bf and she made it 3 years tho!

@Qwibes not worth it! ;) Great you get to see your guy this weekend! Lol that makes me happy :)

makes me happy too! ;D Haha, total LMBO moment just now, 'I win! Wait, no I totally lose haha' lol

haha wow u both got me bad lol ;-) i feel sorry for you about the bad kisser part too lol it's terrible when that happens lol but looks like you in business now ;-) I just love kissing ;-) kissing is the cream-cheese icing on my cake lol, yummy ;-) and I too am very happy for you qwibes ;)

ahww thynks ^___^

haha, checked to make sure, but ur not even the one to ask the French kiss question xD

idk lol I just was saying I love kissing lol :-) I love french or any other kind of kisses, it's my drug lol

whaha, there s science behind that! ;p I love kissing too, as long as he s good ;')

well I can't guarantee anything ;-) but I'm told I am amazing kisser ;)

lol!

lol exactly lol ;)

@Qwibes no one complains and it was like lays chips lol can't have just one;)

hahahahahaha xD

Croky is better... O:-)

croky? Lol

Its also crisps ;p just another brand... Those taste better ;p

Haha I don't eat potato chips anyways lol I do corn chips ;p lol

nooooo

haha why do you say that? Lol

I love potato chips... Omnomnom

i used to lol ;) these days I eat mainly flavored if I do and not many lol such as salt and vinegar and dill pickle lol

paprika all the way! :3

haha I could do that lol just not too much lol

@Drak attack wow...that kinda sucks

@M_Hassen what does? My relationship experience or only eating corn chips? lol

Both :p

;P at this point the relationship is for the best and I just love corn chips son I'm happy lol

lol <3 the chips xD

whaha, who needs a relationship anyway? We've got corn chips ;D

haha ;D I agree ;) ill never say you don't have good taste lol ;)

yay! Lol

haha you are alright :) besides there are more fish in the sea lol

beware... There are shark to... ;p

too*

haha I'm badder than that lol ;p

lol, badder xd Well... I'm dadderder... Muhaha

damn autocorrect! Badderder*

haha I'm proxy bad lol ;)

or baddest lol

i realize through my last relationship that how someone treats you is just about everything, I babied, spoiled, stayed up late, flattered, brought flowers, chocolate, spent hours of kisses and I love you's, tons of compliments, drove an hour and ten mins to be with her every chance I got, and for all that, I seemingly got affection when with her, but mostly cold indifference, and just things just made me think that it didn't matter to her, or that she even cared at times, I learned my lesson the hard way lol

and she never made time for me, and I always held the opinion that you can make time for the things you want to

Haha, that is kinda what my lover does xD But I return it ;)

well just as long as you are ok with that :-)

how do you mean that?

I'm saying if you got something that works for you that is the important thing :-)

I guess ur right ;-)

yeah ;-) I'm just saying if you see red flags early in your relationship and they don't get better, cut it off before u and hurt, or living with someone who don't treat u right

Know how that feels like xD Not gonna make that mistake again ;-)

Exactly, I'm gonna have a lot of trust issues after going through what I am dealing with now

ahww, trust issues suck... I know ;-) Wanna share? Also when i look at the other question u asked resently, it seems like ur going though a rough time...

well basically what I mentioned in the before comments, trying to let go, she's kinda my best friend, and now she's talking to other guys and its so rough on me

Tough one! No experience in such situation though... All I can do is give u a *big virtual hug* and vote on ur questions... ;-) Whish u the best of luck and tons of happyness!!

awe thanks ;-)

@Qwibes do you have any complaints with dating or anything in general?

@Drak attack I've been in your place before. ouch!

@Victory exactly, it is hell on earth, I guess it would bother me as much but she constantly tells me things, I believe her, then she changes it, and I'm like that called lieing, and she's like I didn't lie, I just changed my mind, and I'm like well I forgive and forget the first ten times in a row and then I start not believing you lol

@Drak attack When you talk with her it will be really difficult most likely, but try sticking to how things make you feel. Like say you feel really hurt by something. Let her know you feel hurt by something that happened (don't blame, just see how she responds to your actual feelings.) If she tries to argue with how you feel...let her know you are trying to open up to her and this is how you are feeling and you are putting it out there to start a discussion. Make sure to stick to a specific thing that made you feel a certain way, try not to say "you never, or you always do this..." keep going back to how the two of you should work together on resolving how you are feeling about the situation. Stick to looking for solutions together. It is really difficult and hurtful when someone doesn't validate your feelings so make sure to treat yourself right and look out for how you are feeling. If you don't feel validated and there doesn't seem to be a way to create a team effort towards finding a solution, then maybe consider if it is a healthy relationship for you. From what you have said it seems justified that you might feel hurt, angry and confused.

oh it cut me off oops ;)

@Drak attack some ppl just have a hard time admitting they lied :p or they first didn't notice they where actually lying and then are too stupid to admit it lol Complaints with dating or anything in general...? Do you have like an example? I don't really get it.. (Sorry, my bad ;p)

@Victory I think you are very true :-) Give her 'I' messages. Like, 'I didn't like it that you made me feel stupid.' Then she can't agrue with you, because its about YOUR experience, not hers ;-)

Very true to both of you, I think it's past helping, everything I try to discuss she don't participate or says she don't feel like talking or something else, she seems to lonely think of her, and qwibes I meant are you happily dating lol

haha, yeah, but its a crime he lives 1 hour away D: omg, its a 1.45 train trip for me lol For a lil while my parents stood in the way, cuz he's 10 years older O:) but they ve finally shut up now lol tomorrow he's coming for the weekend ;)

haha I had an hour an ten mins lol before that 2 hours or so lol

i once had one i had to be in the car for 3 hours! (Haha, i win :p ) XD was a lil younger then ;p

haha I'll let u have thAt trip lol I'd hate that lol

(N he wasn't even a good kisser) lol!

I was with a guy for a year and a half, then did about a year loong distance. I mean plane flight or 25 hour drive away. not fun! I win! wait, no I totally lose haha. We quickly figured out that if you do long distance you better have LOTS in common to talk on the phone. My friend had a 10 hour drive to see her bf and she made it 3 years tho!

@Qwibes not worth it! ;) Great you get to see your guy this weekend! Lol that makes me happy :)

makes me happy too! ;D Haha, total LMBO moment just now, 'I win! Wait, no I totally lose haha' lol

haha wow u both got me bad lol ;-) i feel sorry for you about the bad kisser part too lol it's terrible when that happens lol but looks like you in business now ;-) I just love kissing ;-) kissing is the cream-cheese icing on my cake lol, yummy ;-) and I too am very happy for you qwibes ;)

ahww thynks ^___^

haha, checked to make sure, but ur not even the one to ask the French kiss question xD

idk lol I just was saying I love kissing lol :-) I love french or any other kind of kisses, it's my drug lol

whaha, there s science behind that! ;p I love kissing too, as long as he s good ;')

well I can't guarantee anything ;-) but I'm told I am amazing kisser ;)

lol!

lol exactly lol ;)

@Qwibes no one complains and it was like lays chips lol can't have just one;)

hahahahahaha xD

Croky is better... O:-)

croky? Lol

Its also crisps ;p just another brand... Those taste better ;p

Haha I don't eat potato chips anyways lol I do corn chips ;p lol

nooooo

haha why do you say that? Lol

I love potato chips... Omnomnom

i used to lol ;) these days I eat mainly flavored if I do and not many lol such as salt and vinegar and dill pickle lol

paprika all the way! :3

haha I could do that lol just not too much lol

@Drak attack wow...that kinda sucks

@M_Hassen what does? My relationship experience or only eating corn chips? lol

Both :p

;P at this point the relationship is for the best and I just love corn chips son I'm happy lol

lol <3 the chips xD

whaha, who needs a relationship anyway? We've got corn chips ;D

haha ;D I agree ;) ill never say you don't have good taste lol ;)

yay! Lol

haha you are alright :) besides there are more fish in the sea lol

beware... There are shark to... ;p

too*

haha I'm badder than that lol ;p

lol, badder xd Well... I'm dadderder... Muhaha

damn autocorrect! Badderder*

haha I'm proxy bad lol ;)

or baddest lol

nothing is more important than how they treat you